Japanese Tuna Salad

Japanese Tuna Salad

Japanese Tuna Salad

After a rocky start to a 39th birthday week I decided to get out of dodge and see what I could find out in the wilds of North Carolina. 

Things I Learned This Weekend Traveling In The South: 

1. There are few problems a Reba McEntire impersonating drag queen, whiskey, and riding crop can't solve. 

2. The incorrect response to learning someone's cat is a hermaphrodite is, "your cats fucked up."

3. If for only a few minutes, the right meal can calm your tits. And the Japanese Tuna Salad at Lucette Grace in Raleigh, NC did just that. See photo above.  

Korean Beef Bibimbap

Korean Beef Bibimbap.jpg

Things I Learned This Week Living In The South:

1. If you can find a woman who will tolerate your drunk self Facetiming from main street, throwing up while being cheered on by the evenings alfresco diners, and without missing a beat wipe the spittle from your mouth as you praise her and claim her as your fiancé to the now forming crowd, consider yourself blessed. 

2. As my trusted advisor and beard stylist once said, "when online dating, nothing good happens after midnight. Wash the sheets in hot water and we'll forget about it over bottomless mimosas tomorrow."

3. When someone in the group has to ask, "what is that drip, drip, drip?" it's time to consider that you have maybe had one too many lactation cookies.  

This month my emotional eating has taken a sharp turn for the better...I think. At the suggestion of my mother and some friends I joined Hello Fresh. The online meal prep service. Once a week I get a box of wonderfully packed goods with three detailed and easy to execute recipes. Unlike my online dating life as of late this is reliable and a delight to have at home. My final meal of this week was Korean Beef Bibimbap. I've added an egg. Because everything is better with an egg. 

Korean Beef Bibimbap



Lexington Style BBQ

BBQ Buffet

BBQ Buffet

Things I Learned This Week Living In The South:

1. Some things never die. Or time travel exists. Either way I learned that you can return to your youth to jam out to Barenaked Ladies, Collective Soul, Tonic, and Edwin McCain. Mind you I just loitered at the local watering hole across the street listening. And yes, we ran out of beer at the bar. Who knew Barenaked Ladies still had a draw?

2. Heaven is a place on earth and it's located at 2nd and Green in Winston-Salem. For $9 I enjoyed a cash cover, $1 drafts, and unlimited hot dogs while awkwardly flirting with a man named after a favorite food group of mine. He knows I'm kidding...or does he?

3. After 2+ years of my immersion therapy in The South I have ventured to the BBQ side of the food pyramid. And in doing so found myself sitting next to an older gentleman while he whispered "let me put a little South in your mouth". After realizing it was NOT an attempt to "connect" with me I then enjoyed a nice sampler platter of BBQ and sides. All while trying to not make eye contact with the hand painted Jesus on the wall.  

I'm at the beach this weekend kids! If you see an alabaster bear being eaten by a great white shark you have found me at the oceanfront bar. 

Crawfish Boil

Crawfish Boil

Crawfish Boil

Things I Learned This Week Living In The South: 

1. How to shotgun a beer. Yes, I am aware of the shock on your face dear friend when you asked me to join and I stated I have never shotgunned a beer. And I am also aware of the look of shock on your face when you assumed I couldn't relax my throat and swallow 12 oz in one gulp. This isn't my first rodeo at relaxing my throat for maximum consumption.  

2. My man bag, which was a self loving gift I gave myself upon my triumphant return to corporate life a few years back AND the subject of a recent replacement debate, has reemerged in my Top Ten Accessories List because I learned it can hold: 

a. 1 Bottle Of Rose

b. 10 Pounds Of Andouille Sausage

c. 2 Loaves Of Banana Bread

d. 2 Cans Of La Croix

e. 1 Bag Of Emergency Hard Candies and Band Aids (because I am 90 years old)

3. It is perfectly acceptable to have a sense of pride when you find you are one of three Northerners left standing with 40 pounds of crawfish on the table after all the Southerns have bailed in gastorial weakness.  Special shout out to the Long Islander to my left who questioned, learned, and then conqeured the crawfish in a matter of minutes.  

Roasted Grapes

This week I have had reinvention on the mind. 

Selena Gomez cut her hair. 

Some work friends have moved on. 

I've cleaned out my closet while pondering a new look. 

All possible steps to start a reinvention. 

As I stood naked in front of my refrigerator last night cursing myself that I had no frozen cookie dough, no hidden fudge, not a chocolate chip in sight. I then thought I best take the healthy choice and dug my hands into the bag of grapes on my counter. My hand blindly dug around for my nightly emotional quencher and I was rudely brought out of my 3 am slumber by a fuzzy grape. And I thought "that little bastard is only 4 days old and it is already moved on". 

With my near death by moldy grape behind me this morning I got to thinking again about reinvention. If that grape can do it, any of us can. I've changed careers a few times. I have gone, unwillingly from long hair to no hair, bearded to not bearded to bearded, Structure to J Crew, husky to husgay. That landed me in the kitchen making roasted grapes. Taking them from healthy day time snack, to a midnight mouthful, to cuddling in bed with a sticky beard.

At one point this weekend I found myself sitting on a curb hidden behind a sedan waxing career choices with a good friend. Wondering what steps are next I was reminded of the wise words of Rupaul, "When the going gets tough, the tough reinvent."

So what's next?