Oy! I have been busy as of late. Work is out of control (top panties)! And my boyfriend, (first name) Net (last name) Flix has been demanding as all hell lately. I can barely get a good nights sleep without a poke in the back suggesting a double click before lights out.
All that aside I have been bad at keeping my fans (my mother) up to date on my eating adventures in and around the great city of Minneapolis. Last month marked the 7th new (to me) restaurant and this month we tackled three under the guise of a LynLake bar crawl.
Let's start with July -
SAGL and I joined up with Sister, Sister's Husband, New Sister (Sister's Sister-in-Law), New Brother (Sister's Sister-in-Law's Husband), New Fake Brother (Sister's Sister-in-Law's Husband's Brother) and New Fake Brother's dinner friend (I'm not sure the status and didn't want to ask as I was mesmerized by 1. Her hair because I am that jealous bald queen and 2. Her ability to put up with New Fake Brother's restaurant needs and who also has hair I would make a deal with a Haitian doctor to get). Anyway we all went to Moscow On The Hill in East Minneapolis (aka St. Paul).
I've heard about this joint so many times that I finally made the trek over the river and through the woods to give it a chance (you think I am joking but you actually go over the river and through some woods). I've been leery of the Russian's ever since The Wall came down. Things felt safer during The Cold War.
Many vodka based cocktails later we ordered based on The New Brother's suggestions. I will save you all from the turmoil and tell you to just go and order large amounts of the Siberian and Peasant Pelmeni. These dumplings were AMAZING (and I don't like to yell type unless it's serious). Get like one plate of each just for yourself and wear elastic waist pants. I honestly don't even recall what I had for dinner because over a month later I am still thinking of cramming my face with the dumplings.
On to August -
Initially SAGL and I were going to attempt a rumored to be good lunch joint on the fringe of downtown Minneapolis. However, I got distracted last week when we both realized that along with Betsy Wetsy, we had a social calendar free weekend approaching. Naturally I suggested a bar/restaurant crawl.
You see a couple times a week I try to walk home from the office. I take a leisurely 4 mile hike down Lyndale Ave, one of Minneapolis's main drags. At one point you come across the LynLake neighborhood full of restaurants, a wig shop and a bondage store. I often wonder what the wig shop is like?
So last Friday, SAGL and I met up with Betsy Wetsy and proceeded to walk our way to as many happy hours as possible. We started at Heyday on 27th and Lyndale. This visually Pinterested restaurant was busy so we found our way to the bar. Simple craft cocktail menu with just as simple food menu pleased me. I don't like too many options when dining out. The Cheesecake Factory can keep its tome of a menu in the suburbs. With an extremely amiable bartender we tried two desserts (cheese and fruit platter was good along with the hazelnut and creme) and a couple cocktails. The highlight of the stop was our bartender's quick thinking of providing us with a dessert cocktail of Licor 43 and milk.I tend to leave my milk to Cocoa Pebbles but this was wonderful.
Onward!
Next stop was Marche inside the new Lime Condo Complex From Hell at The Greenway and Lyndale. This new eyesore has a bar-ish type lounge on the street level that looked inviting. At least the bartenders scruff looked inviting. That and the probably clean bathroom. Let's just say this is a great place for shiny fit people with money who want to live in a building that is named after fruit. We are pretty sure we watched a Grindr hookup happen in the lobby. Just saying $9 for a glass of brut ain't worth the dreamy eyed bartender. Who P.S. has his fiance sitting at the other end watching your every move.
And Upward!
We next frogger our way across the street to Lago Tacos. Warned by our Patagonia Pants'd bartender at Marche that the tacos are only so so we decided to take a chance. And dammit if he wasn't right. Mine tasted like a Sesame Chicken Lean Cuisine in a corn tortilla. Thank God I had a large margarita to wash it down with.
As my companions agreed that we could have done better, we moved on.
At this point we needed to take a break. So we stopped at a local leather craftsmen boutique just off of Lyndale. Betsy Wetsy found a wonderful accent chair at a reasonable price. The young man working was even so kind as to demonstrate all the place one could use it.
Well shit. At this point we have lost concentration and needed a break. That meant stopping at our unknowingly last stop, Spill The Wine (RIP as of 2016)
Some of you (assuming you are not my mother who doesn't live in Minneapolis) will recall Spill The Wine from its days down in The MillDistrict. It has since downsized and rebirthed itself on the corner of Bryant and Lyndale. AND I LOVE IT THERE! Yes I yelled that. (SAGL just text me from upstairs asking who I had over. I assured him I was just recapping on the the blog.)
As you know from last year's wine resolution, I love wine. And Spill The Wine has plenty of that. Upon our entrance we met a very well mannered sprite of a woman who kindly put me in my place (on a throne) and seated us outside. She was so well mannered (read: smart enough to keep up) that we invited her to join us. You see she repeatedly reminded us that she was off the clock but insisted on seating us as a kind gesture. I'm not certain but she may have made a kind gesture as I turned my back.
Well before you knew it iCarli sat herself at the table just like that brazen Irishman did on Downton Abbey. You know Ireland is a third world country right? Bastards couldn't pick a team during The War.
So we made a new friend! iCarli fit right in like Peter Dinklage in a revival of Wizard of Oz.
The wine was tasty. The cobbler was okay. Watching the three of us hit on the waiter was worth it.
Next on Two Birds One Scone...watch as I roll my bloated self from my bed to my cube for four more days. And then scramble to bake something for the blog. No I really will bake something next week.
Any suggestions?
