Grilled Cheese

Ooooo Lord it has been a hot minute since my last book review and I apologize. Please don't judge. I have been reading like a fiend since my last contribution over at Yes and Yes but as you know I have been wrapped up with some Southern Learnings. 

But I am back at it! 

This week I finished Buffering by Hannah Hart. You may recall eons ago back in my blog baby infancy I introduced you to Hannah Hart and her genius YouTube show called My Drunk Kitchen. Walk down memory lane here.  

Well like a YouTube wet dream come true, with a little hard work Hannah grew her show into something pretty amazing. With over 217 million views, Hannah has covered such topics as how to make boozy mac and cheese pasta (click here) or letting us in on something as intimate as her first lesbian kiss (click here).

In her latest book Buffering Hannah walks us through everything that lead up to her current tube-tastic life. Fighting to survive some pretty tough moments (starting with a mother with mental illness) she worked hard to create a brand reaching millions and whose ultimate goal is to spread good (check out Have A Hart Day for volunteer opportunities near you...click here).

In honor of Buffering I chose to make a grilled cheese. In her very first video Hannah attempts to make a grilled cheese while enjoying a bottle of red and oddly not cheese. Instead of my usual recipe I will provide you with her video in hopes you can learn from her.  

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FOR MORE BOOK CLUB FUN CHECK OUT SOME OTHER GREAT READS WE'VE DONE!

BINGE BY TYLER OAKLY - A LOT HAPPENS AT ARBY'S

BIG LITTLE LIES BY LIANE MORIARTY - CURRENTLY CAPTIVATING US ON HBO

ELEANOR AND PARK BY RAINBOW ROWELL - TEEN ANGST AT ITS HEARTBREAKING BEST

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Slow Cooker Beef Roast

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Seared Beef

In a matter of mere hours my Saturday went from pretty great. To not bad. To "Dear God. Get me out of here". To "Tom Hanks is a genius in The 'Burbs". 

Then I seared some meat. 

Things I've Experienced While Living In The South This week: 

1. Bridesmaids are the worst. Even at 1000 miles away they hold the power to ruin my whiskey and andouille po'boy buzz. Know that when our paths cross I will remember that. 

2. The same dog that played Precious in Silence of The Lambs starred as Queenie in The 'Burbs. Tom Hanks taught us that sometimes you don't need to know what's going on with your creepy neighbors. 

3. When single and grocery shopping, you can find yourself wondering how you came to own 9 lbs of beef and what the dating scene will be like should The End Times come and you are trapped in your kitchen where you have hoarded the now procured 9lbs of beef.  

Though it's just me at home and I would love to eat nothing but cold cereal breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I have from time to time the emotional need to actually make a real meal. While sadly knowing that 80% of it will die a slow death as leftovers longfully looking past my moobs as I graze on frozen chocolate chips naked in front of my fridge at 3am.  This week I attempt to make a variation of Betty Crocker's Slow Cooker Beef Roast with Onions and Potatoes. 

Slow Cooker Beef Roast with Onions and Potatoes

RECIPE BY BETTY CROCKER

SERVES 6

INGREDIENTS

1 large sweet onion, cut in half, then cut into thin slices

3-lb boneless beef bottom round roast

3 baking potatoes, cut into 1 1/2- to 2-inch cubes

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 3/4 cups Progresso™ beef flavored broth (from 32-oz carton)

1 package (1 oz) onion soup mix (from 2-oz box)

1/4 cup Gold Medal™ all-purpose flour

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In 5- to 6-quart slow cooker, place onion. If beef roast comes in netting or is tied, remove netting or strings. Place beef on onion. Place potatoes and garlic around beef. In small bowl, mix 1 1/4 cups of the broth and the dry soup mix; pour over beef. (Refrigerate remaining broth.)

2. Cover; cook on Low heat setting 9 to 10 hours.

3. Remove beef and vegetables from cooker; place on serving platter. Cover to keep warm.

4. In small bowl, mix remaining 1/2 cup broth and the flour; gradually stir into juices in cooker. Increase heat setting to High. Cover; cook about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, until sauce has thickened. Serve sauce over beef and vegetables.

P.S. Please note that I chose to sear my meat before placing in the slow cooker. My meat ignorance doesn't know if this will alter the flavor or not. But I wanted to try. You can find a variety of searing methods online.

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WANT MORE FUN WITH MEAT? CHECK OUT THESE LINKS BELOW!

MEAT, SCHLONG, AND COLD(ISH) WEATHER or HOW TO MAKE A MEATLOAF

SWEET JUICY COW MEAT

HAIRY HANDS, MEATBALLS, AND A PRIDEFUL CAKE

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Ranch Eggs

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Ranch Eggs

Well Hell froze over. And with it North Carolina.

Did your Friday night involve the entire infrastructure of your town shutting down due to some precipitation? Maybe.

Did your Friday night involve a massive plate of pad see ew, a comped bottle of wine, a mildly uncomfortable discussion with a stranger about the now shuttered clothing store Structure, and this same stranger’s orgies that he participated in during the late 80s? Probably not.

Did your Friday night involve your two bartenders abandoning ship to take a bright blue sled down the middle of a snow filled main street while the local news aired it live? I doubt it.

Did your Friday night involve an impromptu, live on Facebook, snowball to the nads? Unlikely.

Did your Friday night involve watching a grown ass woman create a parking lot snow angel in 1” of snow with the excitement of a toddler who just discovered that farting is funny? I'm thinking no.

Did your Friday night involve some midnight racing of remote control trucks in a snow covered parking lot? I don’t think so.

It's okay. I'm sure your Friday night was fun too.

In all seriousness last night was off my plan de jour to make January a “cleanse” month. Not cleanse in the classic sense. Just cleanse in that I'm not binge eating homemade peanut butter balls while waiting for the lasagna to warm.

With an attempt at some clean eating I enlisted the help of my fellow blogger and Netflix aficionado, Steph Ondrusek over at Strong By Steph. Take a moment out of your current binge and check her out.

Steph recently blessed us with a simple guide to some healthy and tasteful food options to start the year out. Below is a slight variation of her Mexican Breakfast. Easily altered to make your own so mix it up! This easy meal is still fulfilling that guilt seeking pleasure we all promised to give up New Years Eve.

Happy Snowpocalypse.

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Ranch Eggs

RECIPE INSPIRED BY STRONG BY STEPH

ingredients

2 Large Eggs

2 t Butter

1 Tortilla (your choice of flour or corn)

1/2 C Black Beans; drained and rinsed

1/2 C Tomatoes; diced

1/2 Ripe Avocado; peeled and sliced

2 T Cotija Cheese (or pre shredded cheese of choice)

1 T Green Onion (green part only); chopped (optional)

instructions

1. Move oven rack to top position and turn oven broiler on high to preheat.

2. Place tortilla on baking sheet and warm under broil until slightly browned around the edges. Depending on your oven this could happen quickly. So keep an eye on it.

3. Remove from oven and place on heat safe surface. Being careful not to burn yourself. Place the black bean and cheese on top of the tortilla. Place back in oven for 1-2 minutes or until the cheese has melted. Remove from oven and place on heat safe surface while you prepare the fried eggs.

4. Heat 2 teaspoons butter in nonstick skillet over medium high heat until hot. Break eggs and slip into pan, one by one. Immediately reduce heat to low. Cook slowly until whites are completely set and yolks begin to thicken but are not set. Remove from pan and place directly on top of beans and cheese.

5. Garnish with tomatoes, avocados, and green onion.

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FOR MORE WINTER FUN AND FOOD CHECK OUT THESE PAST POSTS!

TOMATOES, TOASTED CHEESE, AND TOTAL STRANGERS

HEATBOX, HAIRY HIPSTERS, AND HOLIDAY HAPPENINGS

CSI, SCURVY, AND SQUARE PIZZA

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Turkey Sandwich

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Turkey Sandwich with Mull of Kintyre Cheddar

2016 wrapped up with a bang (and not the good kind) and all I wanted was a damn turkey sandwich.

After dropping a teary eyed friend off at her apartment in the wee first hours of 2017 I raced home to peel off the champagne stained clothing, pulled out the building blocks of the simplest and yet so satisfying of sandwiches, and sat in silence to mentally recap what had gone down the previous 365 days. 

Things I Learned This Year Living In The South:

1. Life plans don't get derailed. They get rerouted. You just have to be smart enough to read a map to get back on track. 

2. There is something orgasmic about a well poached egg. 

3. To quote the great Chi-Chi from To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar, "No one is ever so rich as to throw away a friend." Some come and go. However brief their time with you it happened for a reason. 

Turkey Sandwich with Mull of Kintyre Cheddar

FEEDS ONE

ingredients

2 Slices Italian White Bread, thinly sliced

4 Slices Roasted Deli Turkey

Schmear of Hellman's Mayonnaise

3 Slices of Cheddar Cheese of choosing

instructions

1. Spread desired amount of mayonnaise on one slice of bread.

2. Layer on turkey.

3. Add layer of cheddar cheese.

4. Top with remaining slice of bread.

Note: Mull of Kintyre did not pay for mention in this post. I am simply obsessed.

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CLICK BELOW FOR SOME PREVIOUS YEARS SHENANIGANS

RESTAURANT REVIEWS AND MYSTIC PIZZA

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Sausage Balls

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Things I Learned This Week I Living In The South: 

1. There is a transgendered black cat on the other side of town who was born Raj, but after a series of some cat related infections and a quick surgery, now goes by Rajine (rah-gene). 

2. The addition of mayonnaise to mashed potatoes is not as odd as it sounds. And is pretty damn good. 

3. Though no snow is on the ground you can still enjoy a Christmas parade as long as the cinnamon whiskey is flowing, the pom pom winter hat is on head, and a man dressed as a giant piece of toast is wandering the streets.  

This past week I have heard the term 'sausage balls' no less than a dozen times. Apparently the holiday season does not begin until the whole of North Carolina has their hands (and mouths) on some balls.  Naturally I had to get in on this. 

Sausage Balls

RECIPE INSPIRED BY BETTY CROCKER

ingredients

3 cups Original Bisquick Mix

1 pound uncooked bulk pork sausage

4 cups shredded Sharp Cheddar cheese (16 ounces)

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1/2 cup milk

1/2 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary leaves

1 1/2 teaspoons herbs de provence

instructions

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Set aside.

2. In large bowl, mix together all ingredients using hands or spoon. Shape mixture into 1-inch balls. Place on baking sheet.

3. Working in batches, bake 20 to 25 minutes or until brown. Immediately remove from pan. Serve warm.

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CLICK BELOW FOR SOME OTHER THINGS I'VE LEARNED WHILE LIVING IN THE SOUTH

HOT SAUCE IS LIFE BLOOD AND ROASTED CAULIFLOWER

PANTIES AS CAB FARE AND TOMATO SANDWICHES

HAUNTED HOMES AND VINEGAR PIE

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