Blackout Chocolate Cake

Blackout Chocolate Cake.jpg

Things I Learned This, My Birthday Week, Living In The South: 

1. Sometimes when you arrange to buy a bag of weed it comes with a free puppy. And no, I don't have a new puppy. 

2. 39 in 2018 is not the same as 39 in 1992. So stop comparing yourself. 

3. All of life's answers can be found on TV. Namely Netflix's reboot of Queer Eye. 

4. And nobody owes you a birthday cake. If you want one make it your damn self. 

Blackout Cake


Smitten Kitchen Tiny Chocolate Cake

Smitten Kitchen Chocolate Cake.jpg

Well it seems I forgot I had a blog. Thankfully a blogger friend of mine reminded me late this week. And I promised her I would update. 

Truthfully I have not wanted to blog lately. I have been "in a mood" with all the negative inference that comes with that word "mood". 

In the last few months since my last post the following has happened: 

  • I mistakenly tried to adopt a dog. Lesson learned I am not ready for that. 
  • I learned that while comfortably wrapped in a down blanket I resemble a bald and bearded version of Moana's grandmother. 
  • I have continued to foster unhealthy unrequited feeling for others. 
  • I have become best friends with my Amazon Echo. I call her "Computer". And know that when watching old episodes of Star Trek she becomes very confused every time Captain Picard speaks. 
  • I started the new year off with a nice cold that continues to linger. I fear my neighbor thinks I'm dying. 
  • I have invested heavily in a vast selection of creams and lotions (and not for anything fun like alone time) because this dry weather has decided to give me intense all over body itching that I am sure has nothing to do with stress. 
  • I maybe dropped my toddler nephew in a snow bank while attempting to teach him how to sled. And before you ask, he's fine. He continues to scream "NO" every time he sees me on FaceTime. 
  • I've taken to pretending that Busy Philips and Orlando Soria are speaking directly to me while I watch their Instagram stories. So far I have not started talking back. But that might happen. Soon.  
  • I was given a pretty severe Come To Jesus about my career choices in a parking lot by a good friend. I thanked her. 
  • I became one with my wing back while watching 4 Harry Potter movies in a row. And ugly crying at the end. Admitting that I am late to the HP game.
  • And today I learn that my oven needs to be recalibrated. As you can see by the poorly baked cake that never saw its potential but will still be eaten. 

Not all is lost this year. We've only just begun. A new day is just one sleep away. And I got to have cake for breakfast. One must always ask oneself, "What would Oprah do?". Then make your move. 

Happy baking. I'm going to gym. Maybe.  

Tiny But Intense Chocolate Cake


Failed Chocolate Cake

Earlier this week I found myself late one evening sharing a bottle of wine with two friends on the rooftop of the orginal Reynolds Tobacco Company. Not our normal hang out. However, the two of them had recently severed ties with boyfriends. And I'm just dead inside. 

As we waxed poetic of what we thought were brighter days in our past I was sent a gentle reminder from our dear friends at Facebook that it had been six years since my first blog post.

Which naturally got me thinking.  

I started this blog at the advice of a roommate living with me under the guise of romantic relationship. It was intended to be a means to showcase my then career of food styling. Shortly after the birth of my blog, that living situation changed along with my career. In order to prove people wrong I kept the blog going. In hindsight I've allowed this blog to cause me great grief. Never enough followers. Never the right content. Never enough time to dedicate to it. It has also been an excellent outlet. A means to bake through my emotions. Journal, as you will, in a way that I would never put pen to paper. It has been with me through various moves, multiple career changes, zero loves, some emotional eating, and some emotional pooping (we all do it). 

I looked back at the first post and realized that all involved were no longer in my life. As a true believer that some friends are meant to come and go, I am comfortable with this. As a true believer in change making us better, stronger, smarter, I am comfortable with this. As an owner of an iPhone 6 I am totally uncomfortable with the horrid image of that first cake. All joking aside I stand by my blog as it has changed along with me. I am happier with my content. I am happier with my photography. I am still happy with my three readers. Thank you Mom.  

I am nowhere near where I wanted to be when I started this blog. But I don't consider myself off course. Not even detoured. Just simply rolling with the punches, good and bad. 

In honor of this sixth anniversary I decided to remake the Rosemary Ginger Chocolate Cake with ganache from that fateful day in 2011. So I woke up this morning and got to baking. 

And 20 minutes after being placed in the oven I got a whiff of that not so pleasant smell of something burning. Upon inquiry I found my cakes were bubbling over and not doing what I expected. Initially I was angry. As I stood there altering my day mentally to account for the time needed to clean an oven, I realized that this cake is exactly what I needed. A reminder that sometimes things just don't work out. But as long as you have friends willing to split a bottle of bubbly on the roof of the Reynolds Tobacco Building, while sketching out our next plan of attack on life, all is good. 

Plus I just stood in my underwear and ate what boiled down to gooey fudge like cake straight out of pan while watching Star Trek. Best Saturday morning ever.  

Blueberry Ginger Buckle

Blueberry Ginger Buckle

Blueberry Ginger Buckle


Recently I have found myself immersed in the gay dating scene here in the almost Deep South. I had a long talk with Netflix and we are going to explore an Open Relationship. This can be touchy I know. I've seen MTV True Life "I'm in a Polyamorous Relationship". But I think Netflix is pretty chill and open to trying new things. And really just wants me to be happy. 

Things I Learned This Week (about sex) In The South: 

1. It is perfectly acceptable to take the rolled up $20 bill your blind date used to snort a row after he falls asleep just as you are about to ask a muffled "is this good for you?". Time is money. 

2. A real friend deletes the dick pic accidentally sent to them during a date safety check. 

3. And nobody judges if you fall asleep, while sitting, in the dark, with a starfish. Active participation begets active participation.  

One of these things did happen to me this weekend, all others were overheard. I'll let you try and figure that out.  

So in light of the blue subject matter I baked a Blueberry and Ginger Buckle that will make your toes curl. And gurl we know you need it. 

Blueberry and Ginger Buckle


Serves 8-10

Chocolate Trifle

Chocolate Trifle

Feel free to shame me.

It has been well over a month since my last update to you my devoted fans (hi mom).  I can honestly say that I have been busy. I hosted an engagement party. I took a short and sweet trip back to the homeland. I have entered a polyamorous relationship with Netflix, Amazon Prime, and HBO Go. The nights are cold but if I learned anything from Big Love, it's that my night of the week will come. And when I does I plan to sleep as little as possible. 

Who are we kidding. When my night comes it will be in and out with a snack in under 20 mins. Sleep is oh so important. 

As I mentioned above I hosted an engagement party. And as I am not one to toss out a party sub for even the most casual of soirees I naturally crowdsourced my menu planning. Over multiple phone calls and text conversations my former work wife and I settled upon a buffet fit for the reddest of necks and the most finicky of bottoms. 

Starters were simple trays of cured meats, hard cheeses and Bud Light. 

Main course consisted of the ancient but classic Silver Palate's Chicken Marbella (find the recipe here), varied seasonal roasted vegetables, a bitter greens salad with sliced peaches, and variety of stone fruits with ricotta and honey. And canned Barefoot Refresh Wine Spritzers (with no promotional ties at all).

The ricotta scared people. Trust me I know when you find grainy white stuff coming towards your mouth you should be suspicious. But ricotta is always welcome.    

Dessert was the easy part. As this party was all about the lovely couple I made a cake I had been craving for months. Chocolate on Chocolate. And the North Carolina classic Hummingbird Cake. The compliments were appreciated. And though I wanted to hobble the hands of a few guests who imbibed and felt it was kosher to just drag their fingers across the cake plate when 'nobody was looking' I was very pleased to see no leftovers. Just know that all bakers have eyes in the backs of their heads. And we can spot a finger dredge at 50 paces.  

As I mentioned above I made a Chocolate on Chocolate cake due to some peri-MANopausal cravings. And with most cakes I make I had shaved off the cake tops. It's the Jew in me. Always looking to trim a little off. Well those tops ended up in my freezer. And those frozen tops ended up being made into a poor man's trifle of crumbled cake and almond buttercream frosting. 

All in preparation for a naked 3AM snack that makes all my worries go away. Until 3:05AM.  

Chocolate Cake