2 Piece, A Biscuit and Marlo Thomas

/

Last night was a special night for Supper Sluts.  

On with the food...

Kelly's mom was visiting so she fried up some chicken. Best damn fried chicken I have ever had. I then had the pleasure of chasing it with some homemade Mac and Cheese. Don't get me wrong there is something wonderful about the whole block of cheese melted in with slightly al dente elbow noodles covered in black pepper - but who are we kidding...Kraft has the market on Mac and Cheese. Judge away.  

All of this was paired with an addictive like substance called Red Beans and Rice. Having steered clear of this for years while growing up I decided to forge ahead in the name of Black History Month in June and try it.

Could not get enough. Kelly added some flair with andouille sausage. I secretly wanted to take the pan and sit in the corner of invisibility while eating it all.  

The final shot of the night came in the form of Lemonade Pie. Now in my mind's imagination this is an old family recipe that I will someday harass Kelly for. It's pretty much what you imagine. A lemon flavored cream pie. When asked I learned that it involved "folding" of ingredients. This concept seemed to baffle some of the Sluts. My blood pressure rose just a bit. I got over it. But for those who care - when the recipe says to FOLD, DO NOT WHISK!

If you need a tutorial check this out...FOLDING 101.

Before I forget...I did some eating out recently.

First at Jasmin 26 (closed as of 12/25/2016). This little Vietnamese joint was pretty good. I sat at the bar, drank a cosmo like it was 1998 and really enjoyed the Spicy Beef Salad. Now the roommate went a few weeks later and did not have rave reviews. I got the feeling it was just mediocre. Either way I liked it. And it was out of my previous life's bubble.  

Second at The Depot Tavern at First Ave. I'm pretty sure this place used to be a check cashing establishment. Very much a normal bar/food appeal to it. Slight hipster twang based totally on the cute server who called me and every guy at the table "hun". Now based on the server's recommendation I got the curry salad. Not as wonderful as he claimed all previous diners said it was. From the looks of the other plates I think the food could be pretty good. Plus they had a burger special and anytime meat in burger form is specialized I'm sold. But what really cinched the deal on this joint was after the Storm of the Century set in and we were trapped for a while the staff put CaddyShack on the tv's for us to enjoy. Who wouldn't love a little furry gopher action while sucking down a Grain Belt Beer?

With that I am off to do domestic things. I found about 10 lb. of frozen zucchini in my freezer when I recently moved. How many ways can you cook zucchini?

Farmer's Markets, Jeggings and Supper Sluts

/

Hello Fan(s)!  I hope you are all well and that you are being blessed with wonderful Summer weather like we here in the mighty Twin Cities have had as of late. In fact just this Sunday morning the roommate and myself had a wonderfully refreshing walk to our neighborhood farmers market in a constant barrage of mist. Moist is something I do not get to experience enough in my daily ventures outside. All joking aside it has been Summer here.  The grass is green (save for the boulevard in front of our house...damn dandelions) and the dogwood has given us our Summer snow.  

In regards to the farmer's market in the new hood, it pretty much had everything a hipster farmer's market needs and nothing I wanted (kind of a lie, but a little true). Plenty of beautifully put up preserves, tasty looking baked goods, expensive salmon, and organic eggs that I'm pretty sure come covered in gold. I was really hoping for large baskets of really cheap vegetables being sold by persons whose first language is not English. But in the end I walked away with a full tummy (thanks to Chef Shack and the tasty brat they provided - see below), the roommate binged on a beautiful falafel from Foxy Falafel (see above) and the front porch now is graced with a great little Amethyst Basil.  Did you know basil can come in other colors?  

What's been going on food styling wise?  I've been extremely busy food styling the last few weeks. There have been some bi-lingual videos (of which I only understood tostadas - if there are any Spanish speaking readers with abuelita's willing to teach I'm willing to learn), some healthy options, some not so healthy options and butt cakes. 

You heard me right. Butt cakes. 

Have you seen these? After you have finished reading this post go immediately to your Google Box and type in "BUTT CAKES" and trust me when I say turn your SafeSearch Filter on moderate to strict (unless of course you're looking for something a little more adult in your cake search).

This coming week is all about homemade popsicles (they are everywhere - and I just realized how wrong it is that both Butt Cakes and homemade popsicles are top on my list of things to talk about this time...sorry). If I learn anything great about popsicles this week I'll report back.  As of right now all I can tell you is that my sister turned me on to homemade frozen Greek yogurt pops a while back. They are wonderful. And according to that little #5 container they have more protein than the usual yogurt popsicle.  

Now onto more important things...Supper Sluts. 

For those of you not in the know Supper Sluts was the brainchild of the roommate and his lady friends this past January. They wanted a way to make sure EVERYONE in the group got together more than the twice annual attempts made in the past. So the first Sunday of every month is dedicated to a little kibitz and nosh. One person hosts and provides a meal. Everyone else just shows up. It can be a classy taco dish (credit to the roommate) or an even classier buffet style Little Caesar's Pizza Party. Great idea right?!?! Well this fine month of May I was able to attend a meeting of the secret society of Supper Sluts. All thanks to the roommate and his jet set lifestyle. Because he was off eating bbq is some state south of us I was called in to be his proxy. And being that I am unable to show up empty handed I brought a cheesecake.  Which is against Supper Sluts rules I think but as I cannot show up without a hostess gift...they got a cheesecake. 

I had some leftover rhubarb, strawberries and raspberries so whipped up a berry cheesecake to go with the wonderful taco bar provided by this month's hostess. I'm crossing my fingers that I make pledge during rush week and that Supper Sluts lets me back. If not, I will make sure that the roommate fills me in and then I will just gossip about them on the blog. 

And now I am sure you are wondering where the jeggings come into play.  One of the participants in Suppers Sluts (we'll simply call her Jeggings based on her penchant for...wait for it...Jeggings) was adventurous enough to meet up with myself and the roommate this past Saturday evening for some local fare at Tugg's Tavern. And by fare I mean beer and cocktails.  You know my love of "bar food". Jeggings and her main squeeze were a good time. And that's totally me sucking up to find a sponsor for my pledge into Supper Sluts.   

With that I should sign off - This week is chock full of stuff to do and eat. Until next time. 

Oh wait...I forgot one thing.  Today there was a casualty due to food and blogging. As I nestled onto the bed to bring everyone up to date on really important food stuff I started to get a subtle hint of sweet milk chocolate wafting up around me.  At first I Googled signs on strokes. Then gave up and decided I needed a ginger ale (over 140 days Diet Coke sober beeyotches!). As I went to remove the laptop from my lap I found the source of my chocolate room freshener. Somehow (and I'm sure I can pin the blame on any of the millions of guests I have in my bedroom) a milk chocolate chip managed to adhere itself to the bottom of my fireplace of a laptop and then proceeded to make my jeans into some sort of Levi/Hershey hybrid. What can we learn from this? Make sure to midnight binge eat over the sink. And to scotchguard your jeans.  

And I'm off...

...have hope and add more butter

/
Debbie on Acrylic by Troy Hardin

Debbie on Acrylic by Troy Hardin

If absence makes the heart grow fonder you must love me like I love finding the last Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll my mother used to hide for our school lunches. Again I apologize about the time since our last chat but as my dear friend Betsy Wetsy says, “$h!t got weird”.

In the world of food styling it has been a very busy month. My new landlord will breathe a sigh of relief reading that. I’ve been working mostly on videos, teaching the world how to build things like tacos and meatloaves with the help of far more attractive on air talent than I. However, I was recently told by a photographer that with the right lighting I have the hands of a Millennial Mom .So now there are some photos out on the interwebs of my oddly maternal hands preparing food for a photo shoot.

The rest of my time has been slaving away in my own kitchen. Sadly for the most part I’ve been craving fried egg sandwiches like Snookie craves a tan. I’ve found the most amazing Sourdough Sandwich Bread at Lund’s (my local grocer of choice). The bread is the perfect thickness and has just a hint of tanginess that leads you to hope that maybe Lund’s actually bought a San Francisco sourdough starter.

I start by covering every square inch of one side of the each slice with my own clarified butter that I like to keep on hand next to the stove top. On a VERY hot cast iron skillet I slap down the sourdough and let magic happen. Just like my cookies I look for that golden ring of happiness that sears itself onto the edge of the bread. That coupled with the most perfect shade of amber fried butter in the middle make an orgasmic crispy outer shell for this sandwich. While all this is going on, I quickly fry up two eggs (I wish I could say they were cage free, organic freethinking libertarian eggs but this Working Girl still needs to pay the rent so they are just normal large eggs).

Now the true secret to the perfect fried egg sandwich is the Hellman’s Mayonnaise. Don’t go thinking you can use Miracle Whip, which is neither a miracle nor a whip. It always looks a little gelatinous to me. While Hellman’s Mayonnaise (straight up regular Hellman’s, not reduced fat, not olive oil, not light) is manna from above. Slather that $h!t on both sides of the bread that are not golden brown. Don’t be shy either. Real mayonnaise is totally calorie free (enormous fake wink). 

By this point your egg should be done. Flip it a couple times to make sure you get the yolk to the runniness that you like. I’m sure I’ll lose some readers with that. Make sure it’s good and hot and the runny yolk is fine. Though sometimes I like a fully cooked yolk. Totally depends on the mood I’m in. Finally stand over the sink and eat it like you will never have one again. Eating it over the sink removes all calories and gives the illusion that you are super busy and only have time for the Businesswoman’s Special a la Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about). 

So two Sunday's ago I took a few minutes out of my morning to make myself and the roommate a hearty breakfast. We spent the previous night out with our friend Madam Butterfly and needed to carbo load for the day. A few days prior I worked on a job with a chef who had some leftover cinnamon rolls. The chef gave me a couple and suggested I let them sit for a few days to stale a bit. Then slice them in half, soak them in the usual French toast fashion and griddle them up. This was probably one of the best ideas that I have ever heard. So cinnamon roll French toast made, little piggy fingers fried up with a side of scrambled eggs with spinach made for a great start to our day of rest.

Oh I almost forgot. Neither I nor the roommate had maple syrup on hand. So I took some local honey and mixed in a little caramel flavoring. Super sweet. May have been a ‘betes nightmare. But tasted pretty damn good. 

Now a note on frostings:

I’ve had a few requests for my Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting. I will share it with you but warn you it is not for everyone. It requires a lot of patience and understanding (which it sometimes doesn’t like to reciprocate). In fact about 5 months ago I was making a batch and without my knowing a bit of yolk got into my meringue base. Some bakers/chefs will tell you that if you keep whipping the base that all the problems caused by the yolk will go away.I  kept whipping and giving it the attention that it needed but in the end the yolk caused too much damage to my meringue. As hard as it was, in the end I had to toss out my frosting base. This just proved to me that I am still learning and mistakes are inevitable. Below is the recipe I follow (I openly admit to stealing it from somewhere – I just don’t know from where). Also the directions are as if you have all the tools I use. You should.

Stolen Swiss Meringue Buttercream Frosting

RECIPE STOLEN FROM SOMEWHERE - NOT SURE WHERE

 

Keep your new batch of buttercream covered on the counter for about a week if you’re not going to use it right away. Or you can freeze it. If you do freeze it, take it out at least one day in advance and allow to get to room temperature. Once it has softened it’s not going to look pretty. Give it a really good stir (again using those new Popeye arms) or put back into the stand mixer with whip attachment (don't be this guy).

So this was a super long post folks. I hope it makes up a little for my absence. And I will do my damnedest to be back in a week or so!

Creme Eggs, Jake Gyllenhaal, and The Betis...again

/

This weekend is Passover, Easter and an official mall holiday which means no shopping on Sunday.  Last Easter (which I have somehow blocked out anything I did...I hope it was good?) my cousins took it upon themselves to create a gorgeous Easter themed cake in the shape of a bunny if I recall. Read into those italics how you want. This year I vowed to not make the children experience another Donnie Darko Easter.  

One thing from last year that I do recall...the Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcakes that were brought to my attention. Last week I was asked if I could try to replicate them for this year's holiday resurrection.  

Above you see the final product. They are suppose to look like eggs but all I see are little meringues with lemon curd and a big ol' chocolate accessory. The wonder is what lies within. Inside each basic white cupcake (google a recipe or buy a box mix) I plopped a mini Cadbury Creme Egg. After taking the photo below I was reminded of that awkward conversation between Jon Lovitz's character in Rat Race (remember that classic from 2001) and his daughter in the movie. Whole thing about prairie dogs.  

In the end they are pretty tasty.  I used my favorite buttercream frosting and every cupcake gets me closer to the "betis" with two mini Cadbury Creme Eggs.  

One more gratuitous photo of the final product.  

I hope my reader(s) have a great holiday weekend! Be it filled with spiral cut hams, canned ham, matzoh balls, Manischewitz wine or green bean hotdish/casserole I hope it is a great long weekend. I will be spending a good portion of my Sunday morning searching along with my sister for the many FULL SIZE Cadbury Creme Eggs that my mother still hides for us to find in the house. I am choosing to ignore the fact that I have eaten 14 already this season.  

UPDATE!!!!  I found a copy of the bunny cake from 2011 Easter.  Thank you Facebook.  

Donnie Darko Version

Donnie Darko Version

Supermarket Sweep, Semi Nudes and Bananas

/

My job has afforded me some extra time in the home kitchen as of late. Coupled with my discovery of more frozen remains (of the food variety, not Hannibal Lecter variety) deep within my side by side freezer I have been venturing down the path of quick breads. In the last few weeks I've consumed whole loaves of Spicy Zucchini Bread on multiple occasions (damn Ms. Stewart and her test kitchen minions).  

Late last night I ventured into my freezer with dirty thoughts of frozen cookie dough running through my mind knowing full well that I had baked off the final four (pretty sure that is a basketball reference about something that is interrupting my Big Bang viewing on TBS this week - Boyfriend take note I integrated sports and food). While basking in the glow of my Frigidaire freezer light I saw lounging about on the second shelf some frozen bananas that Boyfriend and I bought in a Supermarket Sweep-like shopping experience at Super Target a few weeks back. We've come to learn that Target reads our minds and sends us coupons catered to our future needs. Target knew we needed to make banana bread before we did.  

So this morning I was up baking banana bread while the half naked woman who lives across the courtyard and refuses to close the blinds of her bathroom and bedroom directly across from my kitchen got ready for work. Good choice on the black blouse Semi-Nude Neighbor.  

Coconut and Macadamia Nut Banana Bread

RECIPE FROM GOURMET TODAY 2009 EDITION

Makes two 8.5 x 4.5 inch loaves

Now I sprinkled a little brown sugar on top in honor of my best friend from high school that got caught eating brown sugar out of the bag with a spoon when she was a kid. I do that myself now when I need a me moment.  

Finally, loosely wrap one loaf on the counter so you can easily grab a bite giving you the energy to get from the kitchen to any other room in the house. Tightly wrap the other loaf in plastic wrap and place back in the side by side so Boyfriend has something to eat next week.