"Hard Candy Christmas", sung by Dolly Parton on the 1982 soundtrack to the film The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, is the ultimate non Christmas/Christmas song. In the film Ms. Parton plays a no bullshit madam of the most popular, yet never spoken about, whorehouse in Texas.
Not to spoil this family classic for everyone I will only tell you at one point in the movie Ms. Parton's character suffers some setbacks that send her into a song (like most setbacks in life).
"Hard Candy Christmas" tells us that even when the going gets tough all you have to do is dye your hair, get a car, move away, get drunk on apple wine, learn to sew and everything will be fine. But if those are not great options for you the real lesson learned from this great song is when the going gets tough just hitch up your damn britches and get shit done.
Collectively we've had a challenging year. Personally I am still reeling from the loss of Anton Yelchin while secretly hoping all rainbow foods die a quick social media death. Be it celebrity death, a presidential election, or worse I have to think it's best we take the advice of the most famous fictional prostitute in the modern age...
"I'll be fine and dandy. Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas. I'm barely getting through tomorrow. But still I won't let sorrow bring me way down."
Happy Holidays y'all. See you next year.