Cory Matthews, Cream of Celery Soup, and (Pain Au) Chocolat

It happened this week fan(s). I saw some leaves changing color and that can only mean one thing.


I love soup season so much that I am just now finding frozen soup in my icebox from last soup season and the reunions have been sweet. And some meals have even been a gamble because I clearly didn't have a Sharpie to mark what the frozen soup flavor was. Who doesn't love a surprise outside of dropping the soap in the locker room? 

Back to making soup. This weekend was just chock full of activities. I had a work social engagement on Friday. Thankfully my new work friend insisted we slip away so I could venture even deeper into Southern Jewishness and try oysters and mussels for the first time. As with most things I need to give them three tries before saying, "yup, still gay". I mean, "I like oysters".

I followed that crazy Friday up with a date on Saturday. Yes I said date. I'm still in shock myself. Not to sound selfish but I like to make sure to plan my dates around places that I need to get something out of...say a fresh pain au chocolat. Thankfully there is a perfect petite patisserie, Atelier on Trade, within walking distance. So perfect I had to tell myself I couldn't just wander into the back and test my croissant skills. After my date I came home, noshed on my pain au chocolat and maybe watched 20 episodes of Girl Meets World. Don't judge. I learned 20 life lessons and oddly a lot of history lessons. Thank you Mr. Matthews.

Feeling somewhat guilty and worrisome regarding bed sores, I removed myself from the settee and decided to make some Cream of Celery Soup. Did anyone else call it Cream of Celery Poop Soup growing up? Or was that just some twisted Northern Minnesota thing my cousins and I did?

Anyway, thanks to my dear friend Ms. Stewart I was able to whip up my first soup of the 2015 Fall season! And this time (and just this time) I made just enough to eat for this week and not need to freeze for next years possible zombie apocalypse. 

Ms. Stewart's Creamy Celery Soup


  • 2 tablespoons butter

  • 1 1/2 pounds (12 to 15 large stalks) celery, sliced 1/2 inch thick crosswise (about 6 cups), leaves reserved for garnish

  • 1 medium onion, coarsely chopped

  • 1 baking potato, (8 to 10 ounces),peeled and cut in 1/2 inch cubes

  • Coarse salt

  • 1 to 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice


  1. Heat butter in a large (4-quart) saucepan over medium heat. Add celery, onion, and potato; season with salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until vegetables begin to soften, 8 to 10 minutes.

  2. Add 6 cups water to saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium, and simmer until vegetables are very tender, about 20 minutes.

  3. Working in batches, puree soup until smooth. (To prevent splattering, fill blender only halfway, and allow the heat to escape: Remove cap from hole in lid; cover lid with a dish towel, holding down firmly while blending.) Return soup to pan; stir in lemon juice, and season with salt. Serve, garnished with celery leaves.


Carne Caliente, Carnies and Comedy by Stefon

clearly not my photo from UNION - than you Crave Blog...also note the puzzle man lingering beyond the stapler act

clearly not my photo from UNION - than you Crave Blog...also note the puzzle man lingering beyond the stapler act

Time sensitive post here fans! I feel a little like Stefon from SNL with the latest greatest club in Minneapolis.  

Last night as I was in the midst of match making myself with a gentleman caller and I was challenged with planning a date that was better than "lukewarm". I found myself lazily surfing the interwebs (pre date-I'm not a douche) to see what this cold metropolis had to offer on a Friday night.  

Luckily I hit the jackpot with two options. 

First - an all ladies arm wrestling match at a dive bar in SE MPLS

Second - a tattoo convention at a downtown hotel

Again being slightly lazy I didn't want to figure out how to get to the dive bar in SE MPLS so opted for the tattoo convention (bonus selling point...on the entertainment line up was a little person with no arms and two hands where his arms would be. Keep in mind the ad said nothing of talent.  Just a picture of him).  

After meeting my date at the hotel bar we wandered into the convention hall. I slid the ticket seller our money and she kindly complimented our outfits (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the cold hard cash I just slipped her and everything to do with the wooden tie bar I was sporting).  Upon entering the main exhibit hall we immediately heard a roar of applause and awe. So naturally we followed. And thank God we didn't dawdle. We arrived just in time to see said little person on stage with his fellow "entertainer".  Please see the above photos to check out the dolla dolla bills being stapled, yes stapled, to the man on stage.  

The next act was straight out of the carnival circuit. We're talking the stuff you didn't see in Water For Elephants. Chainsaws were involved, sword swallowing, amazing punny jokes and a man completely covered head to toe in tattoos that looked like puzzle pieces.  

GO GO GO to the Minneapolis Tattoo Arts Convention this weekend!

Here is the food news of the night...

Sadly I have to report that King and I Thai of Minneapolis is no longer with us. I was jonesing for some serious 1980's-ish dining experience with some wonderful food and drinks. And like the nail through the nasal cavity of the puzzle man I was brought to my knees when I was told King and I closed. 

So my second option was UNION on Hennepin. I have now been there three times. Each time has been better than the last. I've twice now had the UNION burger. It's probably one of the best burgers I've had in town. And you know I love hot meat in my mouth. This burger (medium rare for you true burger lovers) has some nice American Cheddar, ample pickles, secret sauce (I'm calling it secret and just hoping the waiter didn't...all over my burger), fried onions, bibb lettuce and a poppy seed bun. 

The savory donut holes were wonderful the first time, only pretty good the second time. There's bacon and cheese involved. Not standard state fair fare.  

On the salad front you need to pull on your big boy panties and try the frisee salad without ham. Frisee is a great alternative to EVERY OTHER DAMN SALAD you've had in the last 6 months.  

I bathed in the fig spread from the cheese platter. 

And wanted to start a picc line for my malbec wine just to get it a little faster.  


You must go to the downtown Hyatt this weekend to watch people get tattoos and see what a real carnival show is like. 

Second - give Union a chance. If anything we love them because you can make reservations for the enclosed rooftop dining room on  

And for fun here is the best of Stefon -