Burlesque, Body Image Issues, and Beef'd Up Girl Scout Cookies

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Last night I found myself at a $10 burlesque show as done by the local volunteer theater company. Not sure what to expect from volunteer burlesque dancers I was blown away. With about 150 of my "neighbors" I watched as 10 people with all body shapes gyrate, strip tease, and generally just "let loose" on stage to the likes of Britney Spears, The Dresden Dolls, and Sally Bowles.

The choreography was nothing amazing. The costumes were patchwork. However the talent was formidable and not to be messed with.

After an hour of clutching my pearls in shock I realized that those 10 strangers were more comfortable half naked on stage in front of an audience than I am completely naked alone in my shower. And my "shock" wasn't in watching a woman in her 50's perform a chair dance or a drag queen dominate two men in leather, but in that I have become a person who cares more of what a stranger on a dating app might think of my appearance than I do of myself. 

The trick will now be remembering what I felt as I left that black box theater when I find myself hold my gut in as the mean "girls" walk by at the office. 

Those 10 dancers reminded me that I'm never going to be the washboard ab, butt flexing, selfie taking bro I see on Instagram. And that's fine. Pizza will always taste better than being thin feels. 

When I returned home and started to binge on the recent delivery of Girl Scout Samoas and Thin Mints I started wondering why these cookies are so coveted. They leave an odd after taste. They are overpriced. And truthfully I've had better. *

But for some reason they are the sexy popular cookie that comes around once a year, teases us, and then disappears.

I realized this cookie wasn't what I wanted. I wanted a real cookie. One with curves, heft, and soul. 

So this morning I took my knife to the whole box of Samoas and one sleeve of Thin Mints. About 30 Girl Scout Cookies were sacrificed. I then made me own cookie dough base, divided it into two, mixed in the freshly chopped Girl Scout Cookies, and proceeded to make a Beef'd Up Girl Scout Cookie. A cookie that doesn't come in a perfect package, and like many of the dancers last night, unapologetically soft in the middle.

Happy Dancing and Girl Scout Cookie Season

Beef'd Up Girl Scout Cookies

Wet Ingredients:

2.5 Sticks Unsalted Butter

8.5 oz Dark Brown Sugar

8 oz White Sugar

2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract

1.5 Teaspoons Kosher Salt 

2 Large Eggs

Dry Ingredients:

8.5 oz Bread Flour

8.5 oz Cake Flour

1.5 Teaspoons Baking Soda

1.25 Teaspoons Baking Powder

Flavors:

1 Box Somoas (or Caramel DeLites depending on your geographic location), chopped into bite size pieces

1 Sleeve Thin Mints; chopped into bite size pieces

Cream together butter, salt, and sugars until light and fluffy. Add in vanilla and eggs. Beat on high for 30 seconds or until mixture in lighter in color and increased in volume.

In separate bowl whisk together dry ingredients. Then slowly incorporate into wet mixture. 

Once fully incorporated divide dough into two bowls. Mix desired flavor chopped up Girl Scout Cookie. 

Divide dough using tablespoon or scoop. Freeze dough balls at least one night. When planning to bake off, remove from freezer, allow to come to room temperature before baking 12-15 minutes at 350 degrees.

*Don't hate me - I buy many boxes every year because I fully support the Girl Scouts of America. I would totally be one of I could.