French Quarter Beignets

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Beignets

New Orleans seems to be very en vogue this season. Within one month's time roughly 8 people I know will be traveling there to partake in a variety of festivities. From bachelorette parties to drunken hairdresser conventions, The Big Easy will be getting a solid taste of North Carolinians this month.  

I blame Sara. 

Sara moved to Winston Salem just over a year ago. We met the usual way. Through our mutual leasing agent. 

When asked, "where did you move from?", her response is always a resounding "I'm from New Orleans baby!"

Split between the Metairie neighborhood and NOLA you will never meet a more die hard fan of a city. At any given point I would bet money that Sara has beads and/or a Mardi Gras mask in her handbag. Just in case.

She is a walking encyclopedia of information about her home town. She is the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Able to linguistically trace all words back to New Orleans. 

She can give you a heartfelt and eye opening first hand account of living with hurricanes that leave nothing behind. She will passionately speak of hometown food as if it were a first born child (that is when I knew we could be friends). And if you are ever so lucky to be next to her at a bar, there is the inevitable moment when just enough wine takes her accent to 11 and you have ask her to repeat herself. 

And with that, for Sara's birthday this year I attempted to make the New Orleans classic, beignets. After a few hours of scouring the dark net for a bootleg copy of the Cafe Du Monde recipe I had to settle on what I felt was the next best thing. Paula Deen. I know, I know. I really didn't want to. But it really was a good recipe.

So with my deep fryer revved up and rolling pin greased I got to making my first ever beignets. Super easy. Super tasty. And though I know many cultures have their own version of this wonderful sweet fried dough. I will only credit New Orleans for giving this to the human race.   

French Quarter Beignets

RECIPE FROM PAULA DEEN/FOOD NETWORK

Homemade Brownie Brittle

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Homemade Brownie Brittle

Things I Learned This Week Living In The South: 

1. There is no shame in standing by your friends as they take a pregnancy test in the bathroom of a funeral home. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. 

2. If you have ever thought to yourself, "I wonder if there is a way I can procure a bag of weed AND a puppy at the same time?" there is.  And no, I do not have a puppy now.

3. Sometime when you eat way too many sprinkles they don't completely dissolve when you digest them. And the next morning after your coffee and constitutional you turn around and think, "OMG I am so gay my shit is rainbow colored!" 

This weekend I made homemade brownie brittle. With sprinkles. See #3 above. 

HOMEMADE BROWNIE BRITTLE

RECIPE INSPIRED BY STORE BOUGHT BROWNIE BRITTLE

Dark Brown Sugar Cookies

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Dark Brown Sugar Cookies

This past Friday I found myself languished in an oversized booth of a new Thai restaurant painfully waiting for my Panang Curry to arrive tout de suite. It had been a draining week in the cube and I needed sustenance and ginger martinis fast! Upon arrival I unhinged my jaw, inhaled my curry, cleansed my palette with a second martini and flagged down the wonderful waitress so I could pay my tab. 

And in that slow motion moment in all great movies. She returned uttering that dreaded and demoralizing phrase, "Do you have another card? This one was DECLINED!!!!". Followed by a cackle one only sees in great Disney movies the moment the pre teen princess decides it's a good idea to trust her gut and go with the strange bitter hag she only just met.  

Panic set in until I realized that for some strange reason I was griping some crumpled up green receipts in my hand. It was then I realized that those were not receipts but cash! Not something I normally have. So I did what all my forefathers before did. Paid the lady and got on my way. 

One quick call to my bank later I was informed that my debit card had been "compromised". Apparently someone had tried to use it to buy a $299.04 movie on "m-video.com". Now I am not a cheap person but I don't pay for those kinds of movies. There are plenty of free sites. And to pay $299.04 for one I said to that phone banker, "daymn".  So they kindly stopped the transaction saving me from paperwork and the poor house.

However that leaves me cash poor for one week as I wait for my new card. Which lead me to think this is a perfect time to play the game Eat Only What's In Your Home and Not Buy Groceries For A Week. It's a fun game I sometimes play given my monthly (not weekly) pay check. It makes you think outside the box and not waste a thing. 

Naturally I needed cookies for breakfast today while I watched This Old House. And since I was using only ingredients presently located within the confines of my apartment I was limited.

The end result being Brown Sugar Cookies. There are few things I stock up on. Dark Brown Sugar is one of them. For some reason down here in North Carolina Dark Brown Sugar is not always at the grocery store. So when I see it I load up like I'm heading to the bunker for a few years. 

My breakfast cookies turned out well. And this recipe could not have been any easier. One bowl is all you need. Just two notes. The original recipe called for 2 Cups All Purpose Flour. I had to add almost another full cup to make the dough the correct consistency. And I also made the balls much smaller than the original 1/4 C stated in the recipe. 

Let me know below if you like this recipe! And please feel free to hit that share button to impress all your friends with them!

DARK BROWN SUGAR COOKIES

RECIPE INSPIRED BY SERIOUS EATS

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Yes and Yes Book Club: Kitchens of The Great Midwest

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This month I got a little homesick and sought out mental help from a great novel that takes place in the Midwest. 

It covers everything you would ever want in a book about the Midwest. Lutefisk, cold weather and chef drama.Check out my review and the recipe for the peanut butter bars pictured above over at Yes and Yes - here.

 

Strawberry Cupcakes, The Southern Rule of Beauty, and (Keri) Strug

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Strawberry Cupcakes with Strawberry Buttercream

It was the middle of November and I found myself on a rooftop bar of a BBQ joint at a baby shower for a hairdresser who cuts hair in the chair next to my own hairdresser. A friend of a friend kind of situation. Truth be told I didn't even know her name at the time as I hugged her and congratulated her on her fertility.

Now because my own mother taught me well, I did show up with homemade cupcakes as I wasn't about to push my baby fashion beliefs on this first time mother. Why shouldn't we let newborns wear Ralph Lauren?

Not sure what the scene was going to be I enticed my Primary Southern Gays to join me with the possibly of wings and beer. As we settled into a cozy corner four top and placed our orders we were soon joined by my own Hairdresser. Being of a smaller stature she had to get a running start across the bar before pulling a full Keri Strug, making a perfect landing on the bar stool.

Introductions were made and with that her full confession of how much beer and whiskey she had already consumed. Trying to determine how much of my time I should dedicate to this party I began to prod Hairdresser with a Who's Who of the guest list. Unlike most baby showers I've attended this one was well mixed with both men and women. Some family were there. Some friends. Some clients. It was at this point Hairdresser said with eyes as wide as a heifer giving birth to twins, "Oh my God! My momma is coming and you have to meet her! She's looks like a skinny Paula Dean but with enormous boobs! No, seriously. She's had reductions done twice and they are still enormous!"

How can you not be excited to meet someone when their own kin describes them as such?

And as if cued by a stage hand, Hairdresser's Momma (HM) appeared at the top of the stairs. I should say her breasts appeared at the top of the stairs. She actually arrived about 10 minutes later, baby gift in tow.

After HM made her rounds she pulled up a bar stool and got to kibitzing with us. We talked beer. We talked babies. We talked about our haunted homes. Basically we became best friends.

Naturally it didn't take long for us to get around to the topic of death. What better topic to cover when at a baby shower? Hairdresser told her Momma about my own mother's forethought to help me find a Jewish cemetery after I had converted. At this Hairdresser's Momma began to tell us about her own mothers passing. And the preparative events that took place before her demise.

First let me say that of all the Southern women I have met, concern about ones appearance trumps all of life's needs. There is a level of gloss that is expected to be met and anything but will only spur the gossip beast that roams all church functions.

Now Hairdresser's Momma Momma (HMM) was no exception to the Southern Rule of Beauty. One day years ago while HM was over visiting her mother she was summoned by her mother to join her in the bedroom. When she walked in, HM didn't see her mother.

Calling out, "Momma where are you?!"

She was greeted by her mother as she stepped out of the closet in a new dress, makeup and hair fully done to complete the outfit. HM complimented her mother on the beautiful new dress. HMM thanked her and then proceeded to crawl onto the bed, lay down, hands clasped gently across her chest, eyes closed.

"Momma what are you doin'?"

"I saw this dress at the mall and thought it might be a good funeral dress. Now walk on up next to me like you're payin' respect and tell me if I look good."

STRAWBERRY CUPCAKES

RECIPE ADAPTED FROM BETTY CROCKER

STRAWBERRY BUTTERCREAM FROSTING